This Isn't Twilight: The XXX Parody

Mark wants to lose his virginity, but his girlfriend wants to wait. Unfortunately for both of them, a 400-year-old vampire Countess needs to turn a virgin into a vampire before Halloween in order to preserve her own youthful appearance, and when she finds Mark, she turns his life upside-down.

When a group of naive teens working at a movie theater in a small Christian town discover a mysterious film hidden in its basement, they unleash an alluring succubus who gives them a sex education…written in blood.

Vampires have just made themselves public! Now a group of documentarians have been granted access to spend some time with them and learn how they live and coexist with humans. But as reality sets in, the crew realize they are in for far more than they bargained for.

Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sunscreen to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.

The Cavalcade of Perversion, a traveling freak show, acts as a front for Divine, who is out for blood after discovering her lover's affair.