© 2026 The Couch Critic
Hundreds of years after humans have settled on Mars, Regulator Rogul and Lord Jens Maul lead a force of Martians to Earth in order to conquer the planet. Queen Metaphor looks to the gay heroes aboard the Dreamship Surprise – Captain Kork, Mr. Spuck, and first engineer Schrotty – for help.
Clear the runway for Derek Zoolander, VH1's three-time male model of the year. His face falls when hippie-chic Hansel scooters in to steal this year's award. The evil fashion guru Mugatu seizes the opportunity to turn Derek into a killing machine. It's a well-designed conspiracy and only with the help of Hansel and a few well-chosen accessories like Matilda can Derek make the world safe for male models everywhere.
A drive-in favorite, this sci-fi classic follows teenagers Steve and his best girl, Jane, as they try to protect their hometown from a gelatinous alien life form that engulfs everything it touches. The first to discover the substance and live to tell about it, Steve and Jane witness the blob destroying an elderly man, then it growing to a terrifying size. But no one else has seen the goo, and policeman Dave refuses to believe the kids without proof.
Three backpackers stranded in the Australian outback are plunged inside a hellish nightmare of insufferable torture by a sadistic psychopathic local.
When Sheriff Roy Pulsipher finds himself in the afterlife, he joins a special police force and returns to Earth to save humanity from the undead.
Two of New York's most notorious organized crime bosses, Frank Costello and Vito Genovese, vie for control of the city's streets. Once the best of friends, petty jealousies and a series of betrayals place them on a deadly collision course that will reshape the Mafia (and America) forever.
Three macabre tales from the latest issue of a boy's favorite comic book, dealing with a vengeful wooden Native American, a monstrous blob in a lake, and an undying hitchhiker.
Unemployed and recently dumped, Mitch and his buddy Sam start a revenge-for-hire business to raise the $50,000 that Sam's father needs to get a heart transplant.
Astonished to find the Beast has a deep-seated hatred for the Christmas season, Belle endeavors to change his mind on the matter.
After Gordon Bombay's hockey comeback is cut short he is named coach of Team USA Hockey for the Junior Goodwill Games. Bombay reunites the Mighty Ducks and introduces a few new players, however, he finds himself distracted by his newfound fame and must regather if the Ducks are to defeat tournament favourites Iceland.
Three bounty hunters from space fly back to the town of Grovers Bend, hoping to save local residents from a new batch of Critter eggs.
A discount store clerk strikes up an affair with a stock boy who considers himself the incarnation of Holden Caulfield.
Into the world of the Emperor Penguins, who find their soul mates through song, a penguin is born who cannot sing. But he can tap dance something fierce!
The Turtles and the Shredder battle once again, this time for the last cannister of the ooze that created the Turtles, which Shredder wants to create an army of new mutants. Meanwhile Splinter is coming... to a decision.
The French government is asking Gustave Eiffel to design something spectacular for the 1889 Paris World Fair, but he simply wants to design the subway—until he crosses paths with a mysterious woman from his past.
While grieving for the loss of their mother, the Connolly sisters suddenly find they have a crime to cover up, leading them deep into the underbelly of their salty Maine fishing village.
In Madrid, Spain, a mysterious serial killer ruthlessly murders his victims by recreating the first appearance of several comic book superheroes. Cosme, a veteran police inspector who is about to retire, works on the case along with the tormented inspector David Valentín and his own son Jorge Elías, a nerdy young man who owns a comic book store.
With high school a distant memory, Jim and Michelle are getting married — and in a hurry, since Jim's grandmother is sick and wants to see him walk down the aisle — prompting Stifler to throw the ultimate bachelor party. And Jim's dad is reliable as ever, doling out advice no one wants to hear.
Christian, a millionaire heir, meets Sigrid, a young student, on a dating app. They hit it off quickly, but there's only one problem: Christian lives with Frank, a man who dresses up and constantly acts like a dog.
A tough nightclub bouncer struggling to raise his 8-year-old daughter is forced to go undercover after an unfortunate event.
