Cinematic Titanic: Blood of the Vampires

Things get a bit randy in this version of Mary Shelley's immortal classic about... immortality. Just as our resident mad scientist is about to bring his creature back to life, he is forced to use a sub-standard brain. The Cinematic Titanic crew offer more hilarious commentary as they set their sights on a Frankenstein's castle chock full of angry villagers, grave robbers, and skinny dippers.

The Dean family patriarch has died and left a fortune to his children and servants. The occasion soon turns grim when they discover they must all must spend an entire week at the family estate - together. It's all the same old family routine: backbiting, billiards, rumors and innuendo, canings, pantsuits and ham - until one by one, they start turning up dead.

Kung Fu hits the streets! Young Larry Chin arrives from China looking for his long-lost brother and stumbles into some shady characters that'd just as soon see him go home - or get dead. He crosses paths with Stud Brown, and the two become an unlikely duo as they fight to clean up the 'hood, and make time for some lady loves they meet along the way. And hang on tight for the surprise twist ending. It's all living color kungsploitation glory, live with Cinematic Titanic.

Warning: Baltimore is no longer safe. Meet Leemoid, Zagatile and Interbyce. They're the three aliens whose spaceship has crashed in a small town outside of Baltimore. Soon the town folk are turning up mutilated and dead - and even in polyester pants. Then a stranger arrives to save the day. But is he who he says he is? And what about all the polyester pants? See this film they way it was meant to be seen - on the big screen live with Cinematic Titanic.

An atomic bomb test in the South Pacific creates an isolated world of terror. Strange things are happening on this remote island in the Pacific, where a Peace Corps volunteer, a researcher and his love-starved lady arrive to find that nearby atomic testing has mutated some of the plants. It that weren't bad enough, a monster terrifies the villagers in its lust for blood. The man-beast must be stopped - but how? With sarongs a-plenty, this film was a staple at drive-ins in its day. Now experience it live with Cinematic Titanic.

The bugs shall inherit the earth! Or so says Annabelle, the hottest, the sexiest, and by far the craziest psycho blonde chick to hit Japan since WWII. Deeply embittered about the whole man's-inhumanity-to-man thing, she enacts a diabolical plot to unleash a swarm of mutant insects on the world that will destroy all living creatures except creepy crawlers. Ensnared in all this madness is a philandering island-hopping bug collector and his compliant and slightly pregnant wife, a humorless doctor from the mainland, and a United States airman named Charlie, whose way of starting a conversation is to hysterically scream "Genocide!" and then go off his rocker like the dedicated military professional he is. If you want to watch a story where everybody gets their nuclear holocaust on in the grand tradition of radioactive Japanese monster movies, this is the film for you!

For our fifteenth year of RiffTrax Live, we've selected the 1990's cult classic about bank robbing, presidential masks, and surfing: Point Break! It was directed by Academy Award Winner Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker, Zero Dark Thirty) and stars Keanu Reeves (The Matrix, John Wick, Keanu), Patrick Swayze (Road House), and one of our all-time favorite character actors, Gary Busey (A Star Is Born, Predator 2). Mike, Kevin, and Bill will riff Point Break LIVE at the State Theatre in Minneapolis on July 27th, and the resulting hilarity will be broadcast to over 700 movie theaters across America on Thursday, August 8th with an encore on Tuesday, August 13th thanks to our partners at Fathom Events.

For the first time ever, we’ve assembled five shorts about death, loneliness, and dismemberment into one big, old-fashioned yukfest. On their own, they would have been too depressing to put out into the world. But together, they form into a Voltron of hilarity, if Voltron was eventually going to die facedown in the snow, sad and alone.

Something is very wrong in the Southwestern desert! It starts when rogue rattlesnakes attack two young boys, and it goes downhill from there. The local authorities summon herpetologist Dr. Tom Parkinson to investigate why the snakes are being such jerks. With the help of photographer and fledgling feminist Ann Bradley, the two of them embark on a haphazard and half-assed investigation – and romance. The hunt leads them to a nearby army base and its uncooperative commanding officer, Colonel Stroud. But when marauding rattlers kill two soldiers, the medical officer on the base can no longer keep silent and reveals the terrible secret, unleashing a chain of events, which lead to all kinds of explodey 1976 action, putting an end to the deadly rattlers. Maybe...

In the futuristic world of 2004, Jean-Claude Van Damme isn’t just doing leg splits, he’s splitting the very barriers of space and time. Get ready for TIMECOP! Yes, it’s one word! After the death of his wife (Mia Sara) at the hands of time-traveling goons, Jean-Claude Van Damme is recruited to an elite task force of time-based police officers. Why does the government have an elite task force of time-based police officers? TIMECOP may, or may not, have answers to that perfectly reasonable question! Unfortunately, a U.S. Senator (Ron Silver) has gained access to their system of time travel and he’s using it to commit unspeakable evils - huge campaign finance violations - across generations. Imagine a nightmarish world where stuff like THAT happens. You can’t! Will the Timecops stop the senator in time to save the future? Find out LIVE in Nashville on June 26th, and in theaters August 14 and 19!!

The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!

Cinematic Titanic is the new "show" from the original MST3K cast.