© 2026 The Couch Critic
"It's not true, you can teach old dicks new tricks!"
Burnt-out private dick Jacob Aloysius Spanner teams up with his brother to help an old adversary track down his one remaining loved one, his kidnapped granddaughter. But who's the hood and who's being hoodwinked?
29 Cast Members
Robert Mitchum
Jake Spanner
Ernest Borgnine
Sal Piccolo
John Mitchum
J.P. Spanner
Richard Yniguez
Ben Nunez
James Mitchum
Lieutenant Kevin Spanner
Laurie Lathem
Toni New
Dick Van Patten
The Commodore
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Man at Sal's House
Edie Adams
Senior Club Member
Kenneth Kimmins
Wellington Warren
Terry Moore
Sally
Sheree North
Mrs. Bernstein
Clive Revill
Herbert Soames
Stella Stevens
Sandra Summers
Nita Talbot
Nurse
Julius Carry
Lenny
Joseph Della Sorte
The Short Man
Edy Williams
Sun Haven lady
Michael Masters
George
Lew Hopson
Pete
