Nobody Wants to Be Here, Nobody Wants to Leave

A raucous story of the interweaving lives and loves of small-town delinquents, shady cops, pretty good girls and very bad boys. With Irish guts and grit, lives collide, preconceptions shatter and romance is tested to the extreme. An ill-timed and poorly executed couple's break-up sets off a chain of events affecting everyone in town.

An overlooked pencil-pusher catches her husband in bed with another woman, the shock of which causes him to die of a heart attack. So she buries his body and takes advantage of the growing celebrity status that comes from having a missing husband. But she quickly finds herself in over her head, dodging cops and criminals, all while trying to keep the truth from her sister, a local news anchor who’s desperate for a story.

When a clumsy deadbeat accidentally kills his landlord, he must do everything in his power to hide the body, only to find that the distractions of lust, the death of his beloved brother, and a crew of misfit characters force him on a journey where a fortune awaits him.

Henry Manning has come up with a new way to break out of prison: fake a stroke and get transferred to a nursing home. It's a perfect plan, except for one thing: the woman assigned to take care of him at the nursing home, Carol Ann McKay, has a plan of her own.

Two master thieves go at odds with one another as one sets the other up for a crime. The first, a suave pro who does his job and then hides in his own privacy, listening to old jazz records and caring for his ailing dog, Wally. The other is a local gangster with a taste for the finer life, who decides to eliminate the competition. This ignites a war between the two men and their aides. An angry mob boss and a female police officer try to sort the mess before things get too out of hand.