© 2026 The Couch Critic
"THE 1,000 VIRGIN SACRIFICE IS NEARLY COMPLETE... AND YOU COULD BE NEXT!"
The perfect movie DOES exist! Doug and Carol travel to the port city of Milan, where they have to solve a series of murders committed by a masked slasher at an Italian Fertility Festival. And Soviet Spies. INTERPOL’s there, too.
15 Cast Members
Gregory James Cohan
Doug Jones / The VelociPastor
Alyssa Kempinski
Carol
Frankie Kevich
Lena
John DiMino
Sajda Waite
Jon Collin Barclay
Tomcat 1
Lily Talevski
Shahaub Roudbari
Daniel Steere
Jake Cannavale
Jesse Turits
Sam
Zachary Steere
Dinosaur Suit Performer
George Schewnzer
Doug's Dad
Janice Young
Doug's Mom
Amanda the Jedi
