Millenium

Welcome to T & A High, where the entire student body including campus virgin Purity Busch, chronic masturbator Melvin Jerkovski, repressed Principal Stuckoff and blonde bombshell Bootsie Goodhead all must rise to the challenges of freshman breast exams, bikini cheerleader attacks, inappropriate uses of bowling ball holes and much more.

Francis Ashby, a senior Oxford don on holiday alone in the Alps, meets holidaying American Caroline and her companion Elinor, the blossoming Irish-American girl she adopted many years before. Ashby finds he enjoys their company, particularly that of Elinor, and both the women are drawn to him. Back at Oxford he is nevertheless taken aback when they arrive unannounced. Women are not allowed in the College grounds, let alone the rooms. Indeed any liaison, however innocent, is frowned on by the upstanding Fellows.

A playwright, who lost her fiance to suicide, is haunted by his spirit while staying on a remote island with his mother.