Three small-time crooks with dreams of hitting a big score just can’t seem to get anything right. When they attempt to steal computer parts – they end up with toys, when they try to steal a car – they end up with a Junker. But when they pull off the bank heist of the century (not really) instead of a bag of loot – they accidentally stumble across a priceless erotic statuette known as Caesar’s Phallus! Unfortunately instead of cashing in they find themselves being pursued by a ruthless art collector, his hired hit men and their angry wives!

Blood is thicker than water in this tiny Texas town. After two centuries of Vampire blood lust one man becomes a hero...without a clue.