Everything Is Terrible!

The team of smart-talkin' toddlers known as Everything Is Terrible! have once again emerged from their VHS cocoons to conjure a jam on culture so culture-jamtastic that we're sorry we can't be there to hold your hand as you watch in dazed amazement. Thousands of hours of brain-boiling footage have been concentrated into an impenetrable jewel of an experience, teach us once and for all that loving well is the best revenge.

Paul Reubens introduces a series of home videos progressively less appropriate for a certain other TV show.

With their longtime collaborator Lucifer, Everything Is Terrible! has ingested over 2,000 satanic panic, religious kook, and D-horror VHS tapes. They have recontextualized them and created a narrative feature that reminds us all who we are, why we are here, and what we should be doing with our paltry time on this dumb planet.

So, what’s the deal with Comic Relief Zero!? Sit down and shut up, so we can tell you! But seriously folks, sit down and shut up, because those dumb-faced, giggle-grabbin’ goof-troupers at Everything Is Terrible! are dishing out a stand-up comedy special! This special is the opposite of special; featuring today’s hottest ventriloquists, racists, prop comics, sexists, impersonators, homophobes, and talk show hosts in their hate-filled prime! Are you oppressed and underrepresented in society? Well then, watch out! Let’s pull back the banana peel and take a head-first descent into the brick wall of our own mind! Take my life... please!

EIT! has unearthed thousands of forgotten DVD & VHS tapes aimed at yesterday’s youth to bring you their most mind-melting movie to date. Watch in awe as all colors of the rainbow join forces to destroy the tyranny of adult civilization once and for all! All of your oldest friends will be there; skateboarding web-surfers, rapping math equations, gigantic baby ducks, and maybe even a wizard or two!

Those krazed VHS-hunting pupz from Everything Is Terrible! (everyone’s favorite found footage chop shoppe) are back with their third inner-eye-opening feature, containing a feat never before attempted in either human or canine history. EIT! asks but two simple questions, “What if we make a movie composed ENTIRELY out of dog-related found footage?” and ‘'What if this magickal movie, made up of thousands of other dog movies, is also a remake of Alejandro Jodorowsky’s 1973 masterpiece The Holy Mountain?” Well, let’s stop asking dumb rhetorical questions because this never-ending spiral of World-Pup winning, sunglasses-wearing, murder-solving, skateboarding pooches is real! No Bonez about it, this is it! Are you dog enough to go fetch it? ARFFFFFF!

The fine folks at EIT have spent years digging thought thrift establishments, video caverns, and haunted houses throughtout the country in order to create the most mind-melting VHS mash-up imaginable. Literally thousands of hours of video gold have been chopped up into millions of pieces and gluded back together into an ever-multiplying bizarre path to allegorical self-enlightenment and surreal resurrection. Obviously!

This Holiday Season, Everything Is Terrible!, the world famous psychedelic soldiers of found footage, return with another epic masterpiece! O'er the last 5 years EIT! has built upon their classic Holiday Special, each year creating a more abominable video collage of everyone's least favorite time of the year! Fights over toys for tots! Erotic Santas! Nazi elves! The blood of Jesus poured over pancakes! Henry Winkler as an old creepy dude! Rapping Turtles! And an endless parade of singing kids will surely destroy us all!

To prove they're still 'with it' and 'urban,' Everything is Terrible! has taken the entire history of co-opted cool, and bashed it together into one continuous mix that will not only please your earballs, but also your eyelobes. Can we B real 4 a second? Everyone knows rap music is best when performed by white people promoting reasonably-priced hammed-burgers. So doesn't it make sense to witness and celebrate the REAL birth of hip-hop? You know, the one involving child actors rappin' 'bout stamps, and claymation doughboys spittin' rhymes 'bout crescent rolls! And you'd never in a billion years think old ladies can rap- BUT THEY TOTALLY CAN! After EIT! Does The Hip-Hop!, you’ll never need to listen to music again! For various reasons! ...And it don’t stop! Word!

EIT!, Terrible Claus, and the whole gang are back again with that timeless classic, the Everything Is Terrible! Holiday Special! Bad videos! Fun! Caroling kitties! God bless us, everything!

The Legends collection is a culmination of the first seven (of 777) years of work from EIT! These mindfreaks have taken thousands of forgotten VHS tapes, chewed them up, and spit them back to their young via daily website postings. They’ve exposed the world to massaging cat ladies, apocalyptic facial exercises, pizzas parties in hell, and our immortal party-god, Duane. This 3-disk collection is 12+ hours of the best of EIT!'s daily videos including many that have been banned from the web! Seeing all this madness chronicled in one place reminds us that in the right hands, garbage can be turned into gold!

A Best of compilation of religious found footage!

Pick up that remote control and get ready to take a trip through time as Dante Fontana hosts the ultimate '80s & '90s channel surfing party. Dazzle your way through talk shows, made-for-tv movies, informercials, 1-900 numbers, PSA's, TV promos, public access, news reports, commercials, Thanksgiving day parades, game shows, and so much more! Includes the 51 minute movie plus 35 minutes of bonus features!

Live from America's favorite vacation park! Dante Fontana mixes over 90 live action Disney TV Specials from the 70's/80's, and 90's with no shortage of robots, singing, parade floats, and dancing kids. Throw in a calvacade of stars for good measure including Alan Thicke, Lisa Bonet, Regis Philbin, R2-D2, Burt Reynolds, Suzanne Somers, Drew Barrymore, New Kids On The Block, Michael Jackson, and many more!

A terrifying multisensory experience, Memory Hole takes actual home movies, recontextualizes and splices them together to take a hard look at what this country was doing unnoticed in the 80’s, 90’s and 00’s. The results are more unsettling than any horror film, creating a snapshot of the eerie precursor to internet fame that will turn the viewer’s blood into a viscous, demonic sludge of oil and microplastics. This is the origin story of social media, youtube reality stars, and selfies.

This 20-minute megamix of technology's greatest boners, bloopers, and oopsies will have you giga-ramming your data space with laughter!!!! This DVD also features an hour of tech-related EIT! hits!

This is a 2-hour mix-DVD Dante made for his friends of random stuff he likes, okay fine he'll share it with you too, even though you are a complete stranger. We can't tell you what's on here, you'll have to be surprised, or disappointed, or whatever... don't complain, just watch it at your own risk!!