On the Box Productions

Clarkson compares a number of sports and touring cars to find the best-handing car in the world. Jeremy tests a reviled Lada to destruction, a Toyota off-roader is matched head to head with the largest muckspreader Europe can offer and a whole lot more besides!

YES! Sir Lesley Colin Patterson, international diplomat is back, and I’m letting it all hang out on my very own HARD-CORE, LIVE, SEX EDUCATION TAPE for troubled adults and dysfunctional drinkers.

2003 has been the best year for new cars ever. But I’m not interested in reliability, fuel consumption or even cup holders. This is all about finding the car of the year that put the biggest smile on my face.....It’s all about excitement... So I put the Bentley Continental GT head to head against the Rolls Royce Phantom in a heavy metal drag race. I pitch the Mitsubishi Evo VIII against its old enemy the Subaru Imprezza Sti. I choose the best road car you can use on a track and the contenders are the Lotus Elise, the Vauxhall VX220 Turbo and the new TVR350C. There's a supercar showdown between the Pagani Zonda and the Koenigsegg. And I throw down the gauntlet to the Lamborghini Gallardo, the Aston Martin DB7 GT, the Porsche GT3 and many, many more. I also found time to put a new spin on the art of caravan towing - flipping one on to its roof and hooking it up to a super fast Overfinch Range Rover. In fact, I had so much fun...I’m still smiling now. I'm sure you will too.

I trawl the whole of cardom to bring you seven great cars and truffle the undergrowth looking for seven automotive disasters. The good ones - the Ferraris, the Porches and the Aston Martins are driven to within an inch of their lives on the track. Some are even handed over to the Stig who makes a guest appearance. The bad ones are killed. Sawn in half. Hung, drawn and quartered. They're hammered and blown to pieces with dynamite and their skeletons left in the open to rot. I even find time for a game of car jousting. It's Heaven then, and Hell.

Which is faster round a racetrack - a Porsche 911 or the Yamaha R1? Would you rather have a Ferrari 360 Modena or the new Aston Martin DB7 Vantage? Which is the best road-going rocketship - the BMW M5 with Tiff Needell at the wheel or JC’s Jaguar XJR? Which of the new Japanese super tech cars is best? the Evo6 or the 22b? PLUS grimace as JC shows a Hyundai what it’s like to be eaten, marvel at the Lamborghini LM002 as it wreaks havoc on London’s traffic and check out the greatest race Silverstone has ever seen - Johnny Herbert in his Stewart Ford and Colin McRae in his full rally spec Focus...versus JC in a Cougar. (NEVER BEFORE SEEN ON TV)

In the petrolhead world of customised cars, Jeremy Clarkson is about to learn that it's always possible to make the best even better. Swoon as Vicki Butler-Henderson takes her Ford Capri head-to-head against Jeremy's Mercedes and wins. Marvel as Jeremy modifies a boring road-going Rover into a monster!

This video continued the trend of its predecessors, with Clarkson driving some super cars around a track and destroying a "bad" one, this time around a Morris Marina, which he disposes of by hooking up to a crane and knocking down a few other despised cars in a giant game of Car Skittles. Elsewhere the video focuses on Clarkson's personal top 100 cars, which he promoted on Granada Television's Men & Motors channel in 2001.

Jeremy Clarkson takes driving lessons to new and uncharted heights. You'll learn how to stay in control when going sideways with smoke pouring off the tyres. How to stop faster than you ever thought possible. How to get in the G-zone twhile you're cornering. To demonstrate Jeremy uses the Lamborghini Murcielago, the new TVR Tuscan R, the Mitsubishi Evoll, the Bentley Arnage and many more.

Danny Baker returns to look at all the funniest own goals and fails in football once again

Free the constraints of Mock the Week's panel show pleasantries, stand-up comedy's favourite pessimist Frankie Boyle takes to the stage in front of a live audience as part of his I Would Happily Punch Every One of You In The Face 2010 UK tour. Those easily offended, beware. Those with dark senses of humour and desire to be entertained, step up.